Comet 3I/ATLAS Reportedly Auditioning To Be A Planet

Astronomers report that comet 3I/ATLAS, the latest interstellar visitor, has made an unexpected detour—toward the solar system’s ‘planet application office.’ The cosmic drifter allegedly declared itself ‘tired of being a space tourist’ and is now attempting to qualify as a permanent resident planet.

Experts at multiple observatories confirm the comet’s erratic path resembles ‘someone parallel parking in the Kuiper Belt.’ NASA scientists say it’s the first celestial object to request ‘citizenship by orbit’ since Pluto’s demotion sparked planetary identity crises across the Milky Way.