Breaking News: A worldwide interruption in major satellite-internet service has thrown remote offices, cafés and even submarine cable watchers into confusion.
In a twist of technical fate, an internal software update on a high-orbit communications network caused users from Arctic cabins to urban rooftops to stare at spinning loading icons and ask ‘Why now?’ The constellation’s ground-control system reportedly inhaled deeply, held its breath, and decided to reboot the cosmos instead of just the router.
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