Nation Launches First Museum of Things People Swear They Returned

In a bold cultural experiment that critics are calling “either genius or passive-aggressive art,” the Republic of Veridia has opened the National Museum of Things People Swear They Returned, a public institution dedicated entirely to lost chargers, missing umbrellas, and the mythical Tupperware no human has ever actually given back. Officials claim it’s about “preserving shared heritage,” though citizens insist it feels more like the government subtweeting the entire country. The museum’s opening ceremony ended with applause, confusion, and three attendees attempting to “quickly grab something that looks like theirs.”

At the heart of the exhibit is the Hall of Borrowed Time, which features over 4,000 identical phone chargers displayed with forensic labels like “Totally Yours Bro (2018 – present).” Curators used advanced asset-tracking analytics—because every museum apparently needs enterprise software now—to classify items by how confidently people deny keeping them. According to their data, the most common lie is, “Oh, I thought this was my old one,” a phrase that has now been printed on commemorative mugs, which, ironically, visitors also keep walking off with.